How Much Would You Pay to See the Future?
For us, $20
Dear BITE readers,
Grey and I need to issue a formal apology this Sunday. Last week, we failed you. In all 10 weeks of our Substack’s existence, we missed our BITE for the first time. We come not to ask for forgiveness but, rather, to offer a brief explanation and an extra-special-makeup BITE.
You see, Grey and I had a tough week. We allied very hard at NYC Pride, and then caught a mysterious illness that led to a cold medicine and spearfishing video addiction. We were so far off track that we spent $20 to see Celina in Astoria for a (much needed) psychic reading.
In lieu of the typical weekly post, we decided to share Celina’s insights. And, of course, our analysis. Sure, we've always been interested in the future, but this is the real deal. We began by making three wishes and saying two of them out loud.
Bella's reading
2/3 Wishes: “I wish to find success in my career. I hope to fall in love with someone very deeply.” The first thing Celina said to me when I sat down was that she sensed I had an overwhelmingly dominant energy. This is something every single psychic (only 4) I have been to has been able to pinpoint, so I was unimpressed.
Work: You may not think so, but you are on the right path, and you are incredibly good at what you do. Do not veer from what you are working in now. Your career brings purpose into your life, and a lot of money and recognition down the line too. I’m not sure how Celina could tell I’ve been having a career crisis. Maybe it was the fact that I was at a psychic at 2 P.M. on a Monday instead of doing my job. Either way, always reassuring to hear that I’m doing something right.
Romance: I will be honest, romance will always be hard for you. Men find you to be intimidating and your assertiveness scares many of them away. Finding your partner will not be easy, but when you do they will become your best friend. I see you marrying a man in business, about 5-7 years older than you. You will also meet someone in about 8 months, so keep an eye out for that. I found this insight kind of chilling in the moment. The past few guys I have seen have called themselves “businessmen”, verbatim. I seldom think about business (see here for my thoughts on B2B), but perhaps it’s just the type my personality attracts. And, she is right, men have been known to find me scary.
Investing: You have a lot of luck with investing. 2026 will be a big investment year for you, so keep an eye on your assets. Also, Pennsylvania will be an important state in your life. You will have a lot of real estate success there, so keep that in mind. Hope I get to buy the street between Pat’s and Geno’s. Or Reading Terminal Market.
Family: You have a misunderstanding with your family right now. You know they see you, but you feel like they do not understand you or your goals. You find it hard to communicate with them the things that you see for yourself. I am currently at a point where I find it very hard to articulate exactly what I want to be doing, so I find this to be somewhat true. It can be hard to share your vision with the people who love you when you don’t even really know what that vision is.
Children: I see you having twins around the age of 35. Oy, I am sorry for my uterus in advance.
Friendships: You are meeting a lot of interesting people in this moment in your life. Let me tell you, these people are fun, but they are not your best friends. You have best friends in your life and trust that they will stay that way. Feels true, I’m sticking with it.
Living: I see California in your future, your near future. You will live there for about three or four years. I see that coming near 2027. I was truly happiest when I was in Manhattan Beach for a few hours last summer, so I hope to god this comes true.
Advice: A woman close to you will fall to an addiction. Be careful not to fall to the same addiction, as it will be very tempting. Hey, come forward. Probably best if you do it in the comments of this post.
I also asked Celina two follow up questions:
"Is anyone close to me conspiring against me?” I see a lot of jealousy around you, but no no one is conspiring against you. Phew.
“Have I met my soulmate already?” You may know him in a friend context, but the man who you are seeing is too immature for you. You will see this soon. Sad, but phew.
We ended with her asking me what I do for a living, because she could tell it was such a big part of my life. I didn’t quite know how to answer that question. I wonder if she could’ve answered it for me for another $10.
Grey's reading
2/3 Wishes: “I wish to be successful in my career. I wish to be very happy in my relationships.” Sorry, I can't tell you my third wish. But if these two come true, I think life would be pretty good.
Past: You grew up too fast, skipping a point in your teenage years. You'll have to relive to move forward and reconnect with your past. I don't know exactly what this is about. I did spend high school very stressed about winning competitions, awards, scholarships… college acceptances. Maybe that was a kind of “skip." I will probably reconnect with my past — the stories I'm most interested in telling take place in the Deep South.
Friends: Friendships are headed in a good direction, you're around honest and good people. She's totally right. Love y’all.
Family: You have a strong connection to children. Family will connect the dots, marriage and children will make you feel complete. I'm looking at 3 children and one marriage to a soulmate. There is a strong connection with your family, you will always have this – now, there is a slight distance with a female family member but you will reconnect and grow stronger. Your home will not be where you are now but less than two hours away. You have a strong connection to nature and you're meant to have a car, even though that's not what you're used to now. I was just telling Bella that I thought the healthiest families seemed to have 3 or 4 children, and that I want a long, loud dinner table. In my dream future, the home is always loud. She also totally clocked that I just got into a fight with my sister AND I still can't park a car (well).
Romance: You haven't met your soulmate yet, but you will in 2-3 years. They are older than you, and will give you what you need: guidance, love, inner peace. It will be an instant connection and move fast. Someone from the past may try to reconnect with you and it will bring up old feelings, don't let this confuse you, they are not your soulmate or even a twin flame. Before your soulmate enters, there will be many flings – one is coming in your direction as a molding opportunity. There is confusion when it comes to love, love yourself through connecting with others. This fling, if not in your path already, is starting soon — it will be here before September. Yeah, this tracks.
Health: Health is very good, you will live a strong life. You have a strong connection to water, the sea, the ocean — water might revive you. I'm happy with this answer. I am an Aquarius sun and an Aquarius moon, so the water comment was a nail on the head.
Work: You are not in your forever career, but you will be here for a little while longer because you're not bored and it's pushing you forward. Maybe you're not completely in love, but it's where you are supposed to be. It will end in less than 7 years, and then you will head back to school. This school may not be 2 or 4 years, it's more of a training. You are a helping hand, meant to help others. The final destination is not medical, but closely connected. I will say that I really love my career right now, and I don't want to go to another school in less than 7 years. We'll see what happens. I'm definitely not interested in medicine. The closest I'd come to health would be working on a plant-based cookbook.
Advice: You underestimate yourself, you need to work on releasing fear of others’ opinions. Focus on making yourself happy. You get attached too soon. Also, you overthink and overworry, but you are not anxious — actually you're at a peaceful point in your direction. Yes, you look for the bad, but you're headed in a good direction. You're at a really good point in your life, just embrace the path you are on and enjoy your direction, be at peace with yourself, the circumstances that aren’t perfect aren't forever. Okay. Yeah.
*This would have cost $25, but we got a $5 discount as first-time customers. We purchased the half deck tarot card reading, and listened to the psychic interpret its meaning for our past, present and future. If you want a free online reading, click here, and let us know how it goes.
The key with psychics is to take what resonates and leave the rest.
